Momversation of the Day-"Hi, I'll never remember your name."

I'm new here.

I'm your typical late 20's suburban stay at home mom-I spend my mornings guzzling sugar filled caffeine loaded beverages while pondering at how my children were up every freaking hour the night before and are STILL tearing up the house with energy unfounded; my evenings marveling over the fact that my fancy wine glasses can hold a half a bottle at once. The middle parts are filled with a mixture of screaming profanity at the horrid drivers from my gigantic soccer mom SUV not much smaller than your average yellow learning vehicle, while hauling my herd of children to terrorize grocery stores, ignore the story hour at the library, and to learn to cheer, do gymnastics, and ballet so ONE of those precious little angels can be the next Beyonce or Tom Brady (or not, but 1 out of 3 isn't bad odds, is it? Mama needs a GOOD retirement home).


I'm fairly sure my neighbors are confused as to whether I'm mothering or herding a pack of deaf cats with balance issues. The latter sounds much more reasonable, and like I might get some sleep because I believe cats enjoy slumber. Children, especially my three, do not. They also particularly don't enjoy a rested mother, because what fun is life if you're not teetering on her very. last. nerve.?


I'm happily married for over half a decade to a wonderful man who suffers from not color blindness, but hamper/dishwasher/overflowing trash can blindness. It's a thing. Bless his heart, he can direct entire crews of grown men on a construction sight, but hitting the hamper with his dirty socks? Damn near impossible.

So I guess this is a hi, how are you, how's the family, and a fair warning that even if you write it on your forehead in big bold letters, I'll never remember your name.

( Ask my kids. I go down the list, "Ennie! Minnie! No, you're Moe!" before I get to the correct one. Sometimes I even give the dog's name a holler, just to spice things up.)


Til next time...