How Susan Ruined My Pregnancy and Birth

Disclaimer- Susan has been cut off for almost 4 years now. 1000% no contact. She is still actively stalking and harassing, but she is greeted with silence. I have been denied a restraining order multiple times. I have a lawyer. This is just therapeutic at this point in time.

 

Rewind back to 2013-2014. I was pregnant with my first child. I'd had miscarriages before, but nothing had ever "stuck". I was tired of being bombarded daily with emails and letters so I allowed Susan out of her latest (year long) time out. She'd been put in there because she'd announced to all the world, my family, friends, and the book of faces that my previous miscarriages were "fake pregnancies" because, well, I didn't want my mother at the doc appts and such. And of course, if you were REALLY having a miscarriage you'd need your mother. So, I had a lot of people who thought I was faking pregnancies because, why would my own mother lie?

This was the biggest mistake ever. My mother basically frog marched me in the OB's office. I wasn't allowed to be alone in a room with me or DH only, because "she's my mother" and "she needs proof I'm ACTUALLY pregnant."

 

And so set the tone for my whole pregnancy. She'd 'escort me' within a foot of my body at all times in the OBGYN. Wouldn't leave while I made the next appt. Would put it in her phone and save it. Threw a hissy fit when I asked for her to not come and let my aunt come to an ultrasound. She's not my mom, why does she need to come? NO! Threw a hissy fit when i told her DH and I wanted to be the only ones at the anatomy scan. She's waited her WHOLE LIFE TO BE A GRANDMOTHER and now I'm ruining it. (Joke's on her. I paid for a private ultrasound to find out the gender a month before she found out and invited my aunt!).

 

Then there was the naming process. Oh, dear holy Satan, the naming process. wanted her to have a middle name of (old school, classic name that I later used on my second daughter) after a beloved aunt (dad's side) or Charleigh (which I didn't ever use and never will so it's fine) and she wasn't having it. She had said this concerning it, and I was literally thinking so hard on it, I had to go look it up in my emails.

 

"Your calling her a name that people will be associating her with a womanizin older drunk drug using man, or after your aunt that sounds like an old woman name instead of a prissy diva type name like she deserves. Nothing I say around ya'll is correct, I get put down on. I am trying so hard to do better.Can you and DH just try and give me some kind of respect? Please I do at least deserve that."

"By calling her name that include ***aunts name*** is a kick in my gut again and again because I gave birth to you, not aunt. I deserve that respect, not aunt. or even your grandma. Just because aunt spends money on you all the time doesn'tmake her love you like me. She never will. I'm not saying to name her after me. I'm just saying it hurts enough that I haven't had respect from you in years"

 

Then we came to the birth. A scheduled c-section (Which she threw a HISSY fit in the OBGYN's office about because she NEEDED me to feel real labor and that FEELING since she'd never done so?).

threw a fit because DH was going to the OR with me vs her. She told me she loved me for the first time in 22 years minutes before I was going in the OR, just so I could see how much she needed to go in there more than DH.

 

threw a fit because DH went and got me take out instead of me eating hospital food during my 3 day stay. I should suck it up, and stop being a picky eater.

 

Said she was coming to stay with us for a week to help, because DH had literally never changed a diaper, and I just had a csection. Threw a fit because DH wanted to change diapers (and learn!). Implied that he was "inappropriate" and I needed to "watch him" for signs of "inappropriateness" because "normal dads" don't change diapers. Implied I didn't want the baby because DH was spending any time with her.

After that fit (this was the 2nd night of being home) insisted that the two of us just go in our room and get some sleep and let her have the baby. I was out of it because I was tired of refereeing the bullshit so we did. DH shut our bedroom door to keep the dogs out. When we woke up the next morning she had complained to all of our family, fb, etc... That we "made her a slave" and we just went in the room and shut the door instead of listening for our OWN BABY. I told her that was a lie. She blew up saying any mother that can go to sleep with the door closed and not listen to their own baby needs mentally committed. I told her to get the hell out of my house. So she left. And because she'd pitched a fit that she and only she was going to stay and help that week after I got home-DH had to go back to work and I got to pop a few stitches trying to navigate new mom-ness by myself after a c-section. It was super fun.

 

 

I've had two kids since DD1, but she's met neither of them. She messaged me shortly after DD2 was born to tell me (she was cut off already) that "she looked just like Susan". She didn't even know about DS until he was 11 weeks old. That was the best pregnancy/birth ever. I also lost a baby 11 months ago at 17 weeks pregnant. She sent me emails to "stop faking pregnancies and losses" after I posted about how difficult it was to pick up his ashes from the funeral home and someone expressed their condolences to her.. So that was fun.