Susan and the Sleepovers

*Disclaimer- Susan has been cut off for almost 4 years now. 1000% no contact. She is still actively stalking and harassing, but she is greeted with silence. We have been unsuccessful in receiving a restraining order.

I've been asked to tell about the significance to Susan and the sleepovers. I honestly don't know, other than she's reaching deep in her book of memories and trying to find something she did that some parents didn't do? I don't know.



I'd have a sleepover a few times a year, with 4-6 (depending on the time) of my very best friends between the ages of 11-14 (when I moved out). I'm not going to lie, they WERE fun. She would take us to TP folks' houses (isn't that ironic), we'd sometimes make virgin margaritas, stuff like that. We'd do hair and makeup and we weren't allowed to use hot tools without her, because dangerous?



I'm still friends with all of those girls (now women, we range from 28-30). We've discussed those sleepovers often-they WERE fun. But also very, very controlled. My dad would have to send money for food/snacks/a movie rental/even the cheap $.88 great value toilet paper. She was basically up our asses constantly. We all had our own phones (back in the day of the Nokia) but if we prank called boys we HAD to tell her and she HAD to be in the room. Don't know why. She yelled a lot, including to my friends. Would tell us our messes must be picked up IMMEDIATELY or it was disrespectful to her, even if we were still participating in said mess. If we went to my room away from her, she'd almost always call to me that I needed to do this chore or that chore. If we went to the mall, or Walmart, or wherever (remember, preteens), she'd pull me aside and constantly fuss that we weren't supposed to be holding hands, or touching, or any of the sort because then people would say we were gay.



But her ABSOLUTE favorite thing in the world was to make me wash my hair. 99.9% of the time, it was a Friday night. Meaning I had absolutely nothing to do on Saturdays besides, be at home. But no. We'd be in the middle of makeup, or a game, or just hanging out and doing what teen girls do and inevitably, Susan would barge in and tell me to go wash my hair NOW, it was oily and made me look like a (racial slur).



I have long, thick hair. SUPER thick. It takes 1.5 hours to try by blow dryer or about 8 air drying. Washing it is an ordeal. Why did I need to leave my friends and my sleepover to go wash my hair RIGHT THAT INSTANT? I don't really know, but it was EVERY. Single. Time. I'd be forced to go freaking wash my hair. Then, even though I NEVER blow dried it, I'd have to go downstairs with HER so she could spend an hour and a half blow drying my hair. EVERY. Single. Time. She loved to isolate me from my friends, even at these sleepovers (there will be more posts about this, but isolating me is her go to, and I'm not sure why.)



Then, 11 would roll around and she'd tell us to go to bed or she was taking everybody home. Because she was tired and couldn't watch us. Remember, 11-14 years old here, security system on the doors. She didn't need to watch us. But she heard us ONE time and took everybody home at 12:30. Because, she needed her sleep. (we were upstairs. She was down.)



I've never really understood her obsession since I grew up about the sleepovers, except to theorize that that's all she has. When I was 14, I moved out (she had me placed under house arrest, which you can read about here.) So the better part of my high school career, she wasn't there. I was a cheerleader at my new school and she only came to one pep rally, no games. I went to only my junior prom, which I got my hair and makeup done professionally because she refused to help "enable me" (I'd invited her to come with me and my aunt-who was paying-to pick out a prom dress. I found one i absolutely LOVED. It was a size too small, but with a corset back put in it was PERFECT. She walked into the dress salon (LATE, by about 45 minutes), saw the dress, saw them pinning the zipper because again, was having a corset put in, and screamed at me that it looked ridiculous and I was trying to be skinny and I wasn't. I was lazy and needed to lose weight, and that dress looked HORRIBLE! And promptly walked back out. So, she refused to help me get ready for prom because she didn't want to enable me thinking I was skinny? She did show up at prom presentation for all of 15 minutes to get pictures to play mom of the year then dipped out. I didn't go to senior prom at all.



She refused to help me pick out my homecoming dress my senior year when I was on the court, because she didn't want to enable that either. She did show up for homecoming court presentation, got her pics, and left (again, i was CHEERING at that same game). Didn't show up for the senior presentation football game, where all the cheerleaders and football players that were seniors went to the field with their parents and got a rose, a balloon to release, and our letterman's jacket. She was too tired and wasn't coming alone, because her husband worked nights. Screamed at me, took my phone and keys (which my dad promptly took right back and gave them to me in front of her), and told me I was STUPID if I thought a 33 on my ACT was GOOD. That's FAILING, OP. You're not going to get into any colleges!



She did come to graduation, but was PISSED because I got 4 seats in the parent's area, and I gave them to dad, my aunt (who is like a mother to me!), her, and her husband, and presented both her and my aunt with a rose which was meant for the mother/mother figures. My aunt DIDN'T DESERVE A ROSE! How dare you! Then she tried to take my keys AGAIN because i said I'd rather not go to eat with her and her mother?my aunts and uncles on her side, I had plans. Which, I did. And dad promptly gave me back my keys. Oh, and she also refused to help me move into college because "I wasn't listening to her and was being disrespectful." Why, do you ask? She said I was stupid for buying new things for my dorm and it was a waste of money (not hers) and demanded I return it, and if I didn't she wasn't helping me. (I didn't need her help. My dad and aunt helped me). Basically her pattern is "do what i say", then throw a fit when I don't let her control and isolate me, and finally, go silent for a month or two then go right back to demanding again.



So anyway, that's the story about the sleepovers. It's not much.