Susan Uses The Affordable Care Act to Stalk Me Medically

As a young adult in today's society, one of the best things that ever could have happened became law when the Affordable Care Act was signed by President Obama. For others, the Affordable Care Act made our health insurance situation into a living nightmare.

According to the Affordable Care Act, young adults can remain on their parents' insurance policies until they are 26 years old, regardless of marital status, employment, place of residence, or even if they have children or not. For some that are fresh out of college with no job, that's a God send. For those of that choose not to have our parents in our lives, it was the beginning of a horror story.
My mother and I have never got along, not as far back as I remember. When I was 14, I chose to leave her home and move in with my father, and never regretted that decision for a moment. For kindness sake, I will describe as my mother having a need for control, though there are many other words to describe her. My teenage years were no walk in the park once she discovered I was slipping from her grasp, but once I moved to my dorm room at college, I thought I could have a bit of breathing room. I was quite wrong.

Those days were just as difficult as being in my hometown; she'd show up to the school and demand to see my grades; if I wouldn't answer my dorm door, would demand to be let in, and there were many incidents where she'd sit behind my car waiting on me to come out, so she could berate and pounce.


Unfortunately, the college told me, there was nothing I could do. I was 18 years old and in my state, the age of majority (the threshold of adulthood as recognized or declared in law,  it is the moment when minors cease to be considered children and assume legal control over their persons, actions, and decisions, thus terminating the control and legal responsibilities of their parents or guardian over them-according to WikiPedia) is 21. There was nothing I could do. I could vote, go die for my country if I'd like, but my mom could still have access to everything I did.

So I made a decision I wasn't proud of. I decided to marry my boyfriend, 6 days before my 19th birthday, with all hopes of being able to escape her control. The exception to the age of majority is if you're married or have a child. So I got married (huge mistake, he was into drugs and was violent). My mother promptly threw a fit and ceased my health insurance-which at the time was the only one I had, before the ACA.

Now the story gets boring. I divorced my husband after only a year of marriage, got a well paying job, met another guy, got married to him, and had a baby. I'd began talking to my mother in small doses again, she swore she had changed for the better. But little things set off alarm bells, including things she said to/about my daughter; she was pretty obsessed with her and would slip and call her "her daughter".

After a huge blow up when my little one was 18 months, I decided I was done with my mom all together. I couldn't allow my child to be around the toxicity anymore. It wasn't safe for her mental and emotional well-being, and after 24 years, I deserved peace, myself. I thought all was going to be quiet as a blocked her from every known source; Facebook, Instagram, email, my phone.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into my OB appointment for a new pregnancy a month and a half after I cut my mother off and was informed that I had a new insurance besides the one I had presented to the doctor's office. I was flabbergasted. A new insurance? Upon further investigations; my mom had added me to her health insurance again. At 24 years old, I was under the mercy of my mom's health policy.

I fought every way I could without involving her. I couldn't get myself OFF the insurance, because the insurance company referred me to the human resource department at the job that issued the insurance, and they told me due to state law I absolutely couldn't sign myself off, the policyholder had to. I couldn't just present MY insurance and not hers; in my state, that constitutes insurance fraud. I called the state insurance commissioner. Nothing. There was nothing they could do (I have to add, it's very surprising the number of people I encountered that had no idea about the ACA or the cutoff age of 26. I had many people accuse me of being a teenager or saying once I turned 18, I'd be off, but there I was a 24 year old married mother of almost 2). I had to talk to the person who emotionally and mentally abused me for years.

My mother, ever conniving, even refused to send me an insurance card for two weeks before responding to my message of "remove me or send me the card, but I would prefer to be off". She told my brother it was to teach me a lesson for ignoring her. I waited a week, and once again, asked via text for my immediate removal from the policy. She fired off : I'll remove you if you send me an ultrasound of your new baby.

The last thing I wanted was for her to see my new baby, but I sent one anyway. A small drop in a large ocean, right? Within hours I got the text saying, tough, we're not removing you. Don't call HR again, it's none of your business who's insurance policy you're on. You'll stay on still the law changes or you're 26.

For those wondering what she could actually see; I begged the insurance company to send my EOB (explanation of benefits) only to me. But alas, the policy holder has a right to see EOBs of everyone on their policy to see what their money is being spent on. So diagnosis codes, procedures.. They were all there in front of her. EVERY medicine I took-listened by date and name. She'd randomly send me texts with screenshots of my prescription list "why are you taking this?" "you say our insurance doesn't help you? Ha you're welcome, you liar!"

Finally, my birthday and 26 came and went, and I called the insurance company gleefully for my termination letter. THREE days past 26, and I was still active because the HR supervisor hadn't sent in my termination date (that's fishy to me, but what do I know). I'm assured that I'll have a termination letter in my hands this week. But I want people to be aware of this new problem. Your parents, if they so desire, can effectively hold you hostage on health insurance until you're 26 years old. They'll know every time you go to the doctor, every time you get a pill, a shot, or an ultrasound. They will know everything.

For some, it's not a bad thing; free health insurance is amazing.

But for those of us that have a narcissistic parent who craves control; who manipulates to get their way; and are emotionally and mentally abusive, the ACA's loophole is allowing a new way of abuse and control on ADULTS.

For those of us that have been on the other end of the ACA, the Affordable Care Act is anything but affordable. I've paid my dues towards it in stress, tears, anxiety, and even preterm labor with my second child.




(This is in no way bashing either side's political beliefs. I 100% believe that no one, regardless of political affiliation, assumed a mother would use their health insurance bill to stalk their 25 year old daughter.)