Susan and ALL the Forbidden Things.

*Disclaimer- Susan has been cut off for almost 4 years now. 1000% no contact. She is still actively stalking and harassing, but she is greeted with silence. We have been unsuccessful in receiving a restraining order.

 

Susan is rather outspoken about money, whether it is hers or yours, she doesn't care. She needs to control it at all times. My parents divorced when I was 9 and my brother 7. My dad paid $600 a month in child support, $500 in alimony, paid her car note, paid our private school tuition, sent $50 a week for lunches and snacks, paid for every dime of our extracurriculars including the uniforms and practice clothes, if we got a toy or a book or whatever, my dad and my aunt bought it. Period. I cannot recall Susan ever even buying me a pack of pads without telling me to either ask my dad for money or immediately calling him and saying he needed to send $$$ immediately. Susan wasn't hurting for money, since she was getting over $1k in support plus her car note and never had to pay a dime for her kids to have anything. But, you wouldn't dare ask for $2 for a Gatorade after school for your sport because it was a waste of money and she was BROKE (she wouldn't be broke if she didn't use her child support to pay her boyfriend's child support for HIS kids).

 

With that being said, Susan still didn't approve of money being spent on us kids unless she approved it. Underwear was only to be bought 1 time a year, before school started, and if she caught wind of you buying any (usually when with my dad/aunt) she'd immediately throw them out. Even if it was the approved by her time to buy underwear, if you got black panties or a black bra (black panties are the shit. I have PCOS and endometriosis, so they're magical), they were getting thrown out because black was "too sexy". Um, okay? Even as an adult, she'd throw a fit when she'd come over and I was folding clothes, because I have too many pairs of panties and it's NOT RIGHT, let's throw away these and these.

 

Susan also didn't approve of Pajamas. She hated them. Susan approved sleepwear was a t-shirt and underwear. Pajamas were a Waste of Money (yes, the caps ARE necessary). Why did you need clothes you could only sleep in? Who was going to see you when you sleep? (Because clothes weren't comforting for her, they were about who could see them, period.) If I dared bring home a pair of pajamas after visiting my aunt and dad, they'd go straight to the garbage.

 

I was also constantly told I have NO TASTE in clothes, that I was going to be "picked on" and I shouldn't be wearing this or that because I was too fat, but she'd never tell me what SHE wanted me to buy, nor would she go school shopping with me, because then what would she have to bitch about?

 

Let's see. I wasn't allowed stuffed animals ever, and if I did get one in the trash it went, because they "gave her allergies and upset my brother's asthma". Throw blankets weren't allowed, because if you wanted to be covered up you should go to bed. More than 2 pillows was a no no and the extras were getting thrown away because "that's stupid!" Body washes were a no no, because they can cause your eggs to die from an infection? But girls didn't use irish spring bars like she bought for my brother, so i was supposed to just use only water on everything. Never taught me about deodorant until one day my cousin, who I looked up to, was like, I think it's time for you to switch Deodorants, girl, and my mother announced "she's nasty and doesn't even wear any!" I was 12. No white colored ANYTHING because she didn't believe in bleach and white got "nasty".

 

Nicer shampoos and conditioners? (Which back then we're talking pantene, not anything spectacular.) Nope, and if I brought them home she'd throw them in the garbage as a waste of money. She only bought the .88 cent Suave stuff and that's what we were allowed to have. Tshirts from sports/dance/school fundraising? nope, you don't need that, it's a waste! Tshirts make you look huge!

 

Breakfast wasn't a thing. Breakfast was a meal made up by food companies to make you spend money. You really only need one good meal a day. Her suppers, every single night, were hamburger helper, which I don't eat because of a texture issue, or she'd dump a bag of fries on a tray and a pack of hamburger patties on a tray, cover it in Worcestershire sauce, and stick it all in the oven. She was a horrible cook and couldn't make much and definitely wasn't about to start trying. It would be world war 3 if Susan found out we'd ate breakfast, EVEN if we weren't had her house.

 

Susan didn't brush our teeth or buy us tooth brushes. Never taught us any of that, until it was time to go to the dentist for the first time when I was 8, and she told the dentist she told us to brush but we refused. Then as we got older, she enjoyed screaming at us that we were "nasty" if we had cavities and stuff, and would only let us use the free toothbrushes after that-if we bought other ones or a different toothpaste, trashed. Immediately.

Her quirks (and I'm sure there is more) have definitely influenced me today. I buy panties often, and I LOVE black undies. I currently own a few dozen pairs of pajamas, because I like pajamas. I use expensive ish shampoo that would make her scream. I own several different flavors of body washes. My kids have stuffed animals out the whazoo. I have six pillows on my side of the best and a blanket ladder in my living room full of throws. (and many, many other things she'd disapprove of! I'm sure you've read we've decided to forgo college funds for the kids in order to buy my expensive TP, no?)

 

In other words, she'd have a coronary on how I am doing things and would probably say i was doing it to be disrespectful. What a lovely thing it is that she's cut off.