Old Convos with Susan, back when we were "best friends forever"

*Disclaimer- Susan has been cut off for almost 4 years now. 1000% no contact. She is still actively stalking and harassing, but she is greeted with silence. I have been denied a restraining order multiple times. I have a lawyer. This is just therapeutic at this point in time.

 

I got married at 18 years old to escape the thumb of Susan. Within a week of the marriage license being signed, he became abusive (she didn't know). She pestered constantly on social media that he needed to get a better job (and when she went on the public attack of him I had quite a few beatings) and I needed to quit MY job to go back to school. Here's some Susan Messages, circa 2010-2011, when I was 18/19. It's funny to go back and read now because all of the things she said "i needed to do" i now have with my new husband, but she complains about that as well.

Emails, circa 2010, when I was in college and before marriage/right after getting married (but not telling her, because I had her in NC again). Also I didn't tell her I got married a week before my 19th birthday for a reason. I knew she'd pitch a fit, I wasn't talking to her, etc.. I'm not stupid. My dad knew. That's why she'd make new twitters and book of faces to harass me because I had my new married name on there.. I mean I was 18-19 so I told her one day that some people just do that, we're teenagers, etc. Leave me alone about it (and I knew plenty that weren't married that had their boyfriend's last name on there, sooo). She told me only stupid people do that and she knows I'm stupid but I need to grow up.

 

When she found out I was married, she showed up at our house. Our roommate was like "your mom is at the door" I was in shock because I had no idea how she found our house. She'd made a fake profile, friended our roommate and our roommate's girlfriend, and somehow weaseled it out of them.

 

So she was like you're coming with me, i'm having you mentally committed, I went to the school (my COLLEGE) and you're not living in the dorms, I'm your next of kin and you will do what i say, and grabbed me and was pulling me to her car, my husband at the time was like we're married, you're not her next of kin etc etc... She went fucking berserk... Was calling my dad and crying because "how DARE i make that decision without her"...

 

The next couple of months was hell because we were in and out of court because I wasn't 21 and she was trying to force an annulment.

 

  

The only reason I need to know where (Ex husband) lives is in case something was to happen to one of you i could get to you. Even if staying in the dorm I have no idea where to find you because you told me they put you in one dorm for the summer and would be there when school started back but then you said they moved you. I don't know where you are. I have nightmares most ever night that I can't find you and now I am having them about (my brother). I wake up screaming and crying most every night. I can not find you. I can't find (brother). One of a mothers greatest fears for her children is that some how your child disappears. I feel like I have lost my little girl. I can't find you. I am not wanting to controlyou. YOU ARE strong willed enough that I know what you decide in your life you should be okay. I am the one that fixed you and ex husband up and I do not regret it one bit. He is a good guy and I am glad he makes you happy. As his mate it is your responsability to push him to the best he can be just like it is mine to push you and brother to be the best you can be. I only want to be A part of ya'lls lives. So please don't let me leave you out of yours. I need to find my daughter again even if she is a young lady. I promise i won't interfer, I just need to be your mom.
  

  

I hope your are doing well and i pray you don't forget where you come from and that you have friends and family here. I know you are having a good time right now in your life but don't let what you do now take you from the great times you had growing up, I love you.
  

  

OP, I need to see a marriage lic soon or correct the (Former last name) on your page.
  

  

Please come see me soon. You are a grown woman now so please be respectfull of me and to me. Its time to learn to listen. We need to talk woman to woman and you not get mad about everything said. I love you.
  

In true Susan Form, she'd often spout things that made zero sense or had any connection to whatever we were chatting about.

Susan: You been married for over a yr and never have talked about things. I use to talk to my mom all the time. She didn't like (Mon's first husband) and my dad sure didn't but I at least could talk to them if I had someting on my mind. I miss that about us. Thats all!

When Stepdad tells me he wants to message you and your saying you are blocked I know you two had something going on. You and I need to talk, soon!

Me: Once again, about what??

Susan: Not on your cell phone messaging.

Erase messages

I will just delet you myself. you don't want me as a friend nor a mom. Do what the heck you want. You could pack his ass up ant tell his family to come get him and his bike and be done with him or you can Stay with the no good low life and let him take you for alomony. Get your life back before its to late. I hoped you would be the smart one but keep going like you are and you will end up JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER. WIth alot of bills and no job and a smart ass daughter with no respect for you! No need to reply, I am done with your being disrespectful to me.

  

When you are ready to work on a relationship, hopefully I will be around to participate.. If not, I have provided EVERY opportunity to make it happen and it will be on your heart for the rest of your days that you pushed me away. I just wish that you would stop the personal/character assassination attempts against me!!! I have done nothing but try to protect you and guide you as a mother should... I love you and just can't understand why you hate me! There is no reason for daughter and mother to be the way we are. I am not trying to tell you how to live your life nor who you should or shouldn't talk to. I have tried to not only be your mom but your friend. As both I want to listen to what is happening in your life and respond, thats what both do. I am not judging you and I shouldn't be judged by you. I saw a text or two that you sent STEPDAD. 1st of all never ever say your coming to MY house in anger cause your tired of my ass making comments. I never made a comment about who what nor when you should talk to anyone. I did say be carefull about it. Nothing more. 2nd OP I was wanting to be a friend and a mom and you refuse to let me. If I give you advise its only from exsperience and it to give you a heads up on what can happen. If you do not want to believe me look it up, don't take my word for it. I haven't been controling and do not want to because everyone needs to learn lifes lessons on their own. Giving advise is far from controling, its just advise. Making a comment is not controling nor is it putting down on you, its just making a comment. You take my comments wrong for reason, its because you already know what I said to either be true or its what your already thinking. I hate knowing what the future is going to be for you but your to much like I was, everything except college I have been there and done what your going through or have already been through. 3rd OP I should be able to talk to my daughter about your relationship. You should be able to have me to talk to about things happening in your marriage or with work or with friends and just because I say anything back during the conversation it don't mean I am judging and its not controling, its just making a comment its just doing what friends do. TALKING, LISTENING, COMMENTS are just what they are, nothing more. You have been abusive mentally and cruel to me for years. You have targeted me as the "unloving" parent that won't let you have friends. You have had nothing but love from me and you have always had friends and I have pictures to prove it. You said you wanted to grow up and want me to let you. Well do it but part of growing up is changing your attitude. Your attitude towards me shows pure HATE . You and I could be great as friends and have a wonderful mom daughter relationship if you would stop thinking I am trying to CONTROL you its just talking like friends do. A true friend is a person that listens and gives their opinion , and listens again. Thats all I have tried to do, not control you. I am sick of hearing you tell others I am controling and I am hurt you tell people I was not a good mother. I busted my butt to make you happy growing up. I saw you cry when picked on about living in a trailor and I made that house your in now look as good or better than most the kids in your class to keep it from happening again. It was me OP that made sure you was treated equal to or better than others because I didn't ever want to see my daughter picked on nor put down on. I am the one that run to your school and threatened to kick whomevers ass when it came to you. I am the one that picked up 3,4,5,6, girls for sleepovers every other weekend or more. That took ya'll rolling, that did the hair and makeup for a dance or that sit and did dread locks with yall because it made you happy. When your putting down on me all these things rush to my head and wonder how can you treat me the way you do when I have always tried to be right there for you and I always will be. I have growed up even more the past few years and try to let you do what ever it is you do. Now its your turn to grow up and part of that is respect and stop telling others I am a bitch or controlling. Giving advise is not being controling. Its being a mom or its being a friend. Nothing more!

  

Susan: I have found the Divorce papers on line and printed them off for you.

Call me when you get a minute please

How can you afford an appartment when you have car note and payments to me for divorce , car insurance and up keep. Mom said your off again?

Me: Did I say I was going to get an apartment now? No. I said one of these days. Good god. I'm grown please remember that I know what I'm doing and I'm not getting an apartment till I pay my car off. No hurry on that.

Susan: Sorry I was going by what I heard.

I hope you can get your own place one day, take your time and get things out the way so you won't hurt to bad being on your own. Mom said you was off again tonight?

Me: Yes Wednesday Thursday and Friday I told you this.

Susan: no you told me you go in today at 3-11. No biggy guess you forgot

Have you got that kind of money for hair olive garden and car note? Just saying be careful spending when ya got bills. Its all part of being reaponsiable and growing up.

Me: I'm not paying for olive garden (friend's mom) took us. And yes, car note is next week I paid my insurance this week.

Susan: good, because you don't need to be wasting money. If you think you do just call me and I'll tell you if it's worth it or not.