Susan Thinks Everyone Wants Her Man

*Disclaimer- Susan has been cut off for almost 4 years now. 1000% no contact. She is still actively stalking and harassing, but she is greeted with silence. I have been denied a restraining order multiple times. I have a lawyer. This is just therapeutic at this point in time.



Trigger Warning: sexual talks, drunk driver, death







Susan is incredibly weird when it comes to her husband. SUPER weird. She met him when I was 9ish, and saw stars because he was a police officer and Susan loves control. She was still married to my dad, and my stepdad was still married to the mother of his then 4 (they'd end up having another child before he actually got divorced FIVE years later) children. She said he looked like a famous actor who fell from good graces by doing lots of coke, womanizing, and handing out HIV; she even tried to dress him like him by supplying him dozens of bowling style shirts (while bitching at her children that if they needed feminine products or even pencils for school we should call our father, it's not her responsibility).



Suddenly Susan, who'd sat me down at the age of 5ish to explain that sex is gross, tell me exactly how it's done and that it hurts because the woman is "small" down there, and it's nasty and the only reason she's ever done anything sexual was to have kids (and later saying oral sex was gross because you pee from the same holes and why would anybody want that in their mouth, sealing the deal that Susan is pretty fucking dumb when it comes to anatomy), was giggly and brazen. She'd giggle and bat her eyes and speculate out loud to her preteen daughter (me) that she just knew stepdad had a "big ole lincoln log" and he must be really good in bed to have so many children, and on and on and on and on. I even called her out on her shit one day-telling her I thought she said sex HURT? So why was she wanting to sleep with this married man and WHY was she telling her kid about it? Suddenly her story changed to: well, she had a hysterectomy so it didn't hurt her anymore. It's not fun but you do what you do to please your man. Um, ok?



Susan and her (then boyfriend) broke up dozens of times when they were dating, usually centering around the fact neither of their dumbasses were actually legally divorced. She'd spend days and weeks agonizing that she KNEW he wasn't talking to her because he was back with his wife. He was such a piece of shit and his wife is a whore. Um... Ok. After FIVE years of this, they finally both got divorced and immediately got married (for the first time. Susan and stepdad have been married 4 times and divorced 3).



Now, with all that being said, Susan goes through best friends like she does underwear. She's had 5-6 since I was 13 or so, and she's accused 3 of them of sleeping with her husband. She even told one of her VERY BEST bffs she wasn't allowed to come back to her house because she dared wear a tank top in her house and that was just trying to seduce stepdad. Yes, because that's exactly why women with boyfriends/husbands in the deep south in the middle of July wear tank tops, Susan. To seduce your husband. She literally sat this poor woman down and told her that she dresses too immodestly to be her friend, and she should stay away because she KNOWS she's trying to land stepdad in bed. She also spent our "sleepovers" warning all of us girls to make sure we had "appropriate t-shirts and shorts long enough to cover your MONKEY (Susan's word for vagina)" because she wouldn't want to subject stepdad to such things.



The fun thing about Susan is that even when you're separated or divorced from her, you still belong to her. When stepdad and Susan split the first time, two weeks after the divorce papers were signed she started stalking his new house and KICKED THE DOOR IN when he had a female friend over and DRAGGED HER OFF THE BAR STOOL SHE WAS SITTING ON into the yard, BY HER HAIR. The second time they split they remained in the same house because neither had the money to move, and she was pretty convinced the neighbor was screwing stepdad, so she went to their privacy fence one day when she knew the neighbor would be gardening, got a step stool, asked to talk to her now that she could see into the neighbor's yard, and proceeded to have a screaming match which ended with stepdad and two on duty officers having to pull Susan off the neighbor because she had her by the hair trying to pull her across the damn privacy fence. (No charges were filed. Of course they weren't. And how do I know about all of this? because SHE TOLD ME. And she was proud of herself.)



The third time they split she was pretty convinced he was dating a girl from the college at which he worked. The girl worked there, too. She never had any proof he 'messed around with her', but was sure to call the girl's bosses, write letters, and generally blast across the internet to let everyone know she was a slut who didn't respect another woman's man (again. DIVORCED.)



She even accused ME of sleeping with her husband. Sent me messages when I was working night shift at the local ER and told me that she knew we had something going on! stepdad was erasing messages again and the only place she saw him stop (because she was still following him around in his cop car) was at the ER on nights I was working, and I needed to call her now! "Ya'll have something going on! CALL ME! I can't believe you! my own daughter!" Never mind that at 2/3am the only places open were Walmart, the ER, and the jail, so yeah, the police were in and out of our ER a LOT (and I WAS dating another officer on his force at the time lol. I would often ask for energy drinks or a slush or something from Taco Bell and he'd hear his coworker go "away" across the radio so he'd often come there, too, on slow nights) . She STILL thinks I slept with stepdad, because I *knew* they were split up, and I wouldn't tell her why else he'd be there. (HIPAA, mother. It's a thing. to which she'd screech about she's not DUMB HIPAA is an animal and I'm just trying to make her look stupid. No, mother. You're doing that all by yourself.)



At my cousin (4 years older than me and passed away because of a drunk driving incident)'s wake, my stepdad made a comment that "cousin was always a very nice girl, he liked her" and when he walked away she asked "did I think cousin had slept with stepdad? I mean, she was a whore, she slept with ANYBODY and was a 'badge bunny'." Cue me saying the baby's diaper needed changed and walking away.



Finally, she chose stepdad's "grandfather name". It was (something similar to but not exactly, because, internet) "Big Daddy." She giggled like a school girl and smiled and told my grandmother in front of me and my stepsister in law that "well if the shoe fits the lincoln log...." teehee, teehee. I never figured out WHY on earth she'd chose that, because he didn't get to use his grandpa name long before I went no contact. I never referred to the man as "big" anything, but called him the same thing I had for years since I'd met him at 9 and he told me to call him by his first name.



So, there we have a glimpse into Susan and her feelings on her husband and his giant aura of sex appeal. Apparently the man does nothing but shit, sleep, and fuck if one was to listen to my mom.