Susan spent the majority of my childhood harping that women don't need a man. Anything a man can do, a woman can do, but better. She did EVERYTHING and never needed a man's help. She enjoyed telling us all the things she did by herself because my dad wouldn't (For instance, building a porch on their mobile home when I was about 4. She said she harped on him for days before she just went and got the stuff and did it herself. My dad does the same trade my husband does, and in their line of work there are "shutdowns" that you work 7 days a week, 12-14 hours a day for weeks at a time. Dad was on a shutdown, and working nights. So she expected him to build the porch in between 12 hour shifts. Cause, you know, sleep isn't all important.) But when she married her current husband (they've been married and divorced multiple times) she turned into a heap of whiny "i can't do anything without stepdad up my ass". Imagine how confusing that was for us? Especially after the lectures she'd forced down our throats.
Anyway, about a month before the cut off, this text exchange happened. I only had one child at the time, a 1.5 year old, and I was married to a husband that got up and went to work at 5:30 am. All typos, grammar mistakes, and misspellings are Susan's.
Susan, at 11:38pm, "are you and dd awake?"
Susan, at 11:49pm, "are you and dd awake?"
"I made it to get out of house and I'm just riding around I was seeing if you was awake so I can stop by and get a hug from my grandbaby."
"Guess not maybe I'll see you soon have a good night bye."
"I don't see why you can't answer your mom. The one who'd drop everything if you needed me and let you have years of sleepovers and took you to dance, but you can't answer me?"
Me- "Hey sorry, my phone was in another room I was doing some some stuff and just got in the bed. I wish I would have seen sooner."
Susan: "No big deal I'm heading back to the house i just need to get out and do some thinking. It's just stuff it Stepdad work.Its okay far the chief to live on campus and go home to eat in this okay for the chief son to work for him and go home and eat but yet it not okay for me to go and visit him at the office while he eats for a minute while before I walk they're saying I'm indering his work they don't want him standing by me at football games and basketball games either and that's ridiculous."
Me. "ohhh. I don't understand, though. I don't guess. I thought about it and I think that's normal. Most jobs won't let anybody visit or anything. That's pretty normal, right?"
Susan, "They have spouses working at the same campus but they won't hire me. The Cheif has his son there part time both them get to go to their house and eat with their wives. They stop what they doing to go help their wives unload groceries. Their wives come and go any time they want at any event. But i've stayed away 3 yrs until stepdad had that a fair (affair?) with (some woman's name that is HORRIBLY butchered, think Baith instead of Beth) and she's complained Stepdad won't come to the grill or cafeteria where she works now and then there wasn't a problem now she's complianing he won't come at her becken call she tells (random name) i'm there all the time and she told the chief it's interfering with his job. I go walking there i stopped to visit a few minutes a day at the office. I stood or sat around where he's been stationed all 3 years for football games while he's standing the whole time and most the time talking to other people NOT ME. The chief saw me looking around the last game and told stepdad it wasn't right i'm looking for him. I wasn't looking for stepdad I COULD SEE HIM i was looking for (MY friend's name which I was like what the hell). They was there and left. The other employees wives was at the same game. sinr even had kids running close to the field during a game and that's a big rule breaker. (City police chief, different job, the one she's talking about giving a double standard is campus police) doesn't mind that I park and ride around with stepdad on his shifts (graveyard shift)... I got tired of trying to hide my car, so he told me I could ride instead of following stepdad everywhere and wasting my gas!"
Me, "Oh, well, I don't know about all that, Mom. But I do know that the whole no spouses at work is kinda normal. Even though the boss breaks them, they're the boss. It's been like that at every place I've ever worked. What's the deal with wanting to be with stepdad all the time? Growing up you always told me you didn't need a man to get what you needed done, etc. Now you told me a few months ago you don't go to Walmart without him, you're always taking him foot (20 miles away) or going to the college where he's at... Following his patrol car around when he's working regular patrol... What's changed?"
Susan, "That girl is the reason they trying to keep me from going arund the college. I emailed her bosses and told them the isuse, even the one at the superintedent's office at (high school?) and told hikm she's the one who used to change your phone numbers and addresses in the school system. (Again WHAT? This girl didn't work at the school when I was there, she's only 2 years ish older than me) Its mainly to walk. SOme times he rides his bike and can't take his food so when i go walk i take a drink and supper. That girl just thinks if I'm forbidden to come he'll start talking to her again. That's not happening. As far as going to walmart, I got tired of not getting what stepdad likes so i make him go so he'll get what he wants to eat and i have panic attacks if I don't know where he is when he's off. as far as that girl, I made a complain on her for stalking and harrassing Stepdad. She wanted to get him either back with her (She's married. After the cut off I asked her, heyy did you get with my stepdad? And she was like, heck no. No way! Never even looked at him that way!) or get him in trouble and tired keeping me out of her way. I was going to the staff fitness center. Stepdad would go with me to work his knee she came in twice she locked herself out the grill and needed she said my husband to come let her back in. He called the other officer and had them do it. Now I"m not allowed to go to the fitness center because i told her to stop being a whore. But the other stafflet their teens and friends use it but i can't. Its all double standards."
"The main issue is, the other staff are allowed to have family and friends come visit but stepdad is the only one being told I can't. Where is that normal? why is it okay for everyone else but not him?"
Me, "Well mom, probably because everyone else doesn't have a wife saying they screwed around with another staff member, then bring their wife back in the picture (oh yes they were DIVORCED when the 'affair' supposedly happened), and have the other staff member start complaining.... It's as much of Stepdad's fault as hers, he knows better than screwing people from work. It's to keep a stink down, that's why they're telling you to say away. I can see that definitely. Just enjoy your time to yourself. I enjoy time away from DH every now and then."
Susan "I'm not causing problems! I'm not trying to start fights with the slut. I am just walking and now and then used the fitness. And took him something to eat so he doesn't have to go where shes at ato keep a stink down. And sometimes we'd ride in the campus car but that's it. As far as games he has stood i the same spot for 3 years. The others told me to come, their wives do but they all kelp on so i've went, but i don't want to sit with people i don't know so i stand by stepdad. This Thursdya is a game and the chief said i couldn't go. Ah hello it's a public event the other wives go so I can promise you I will be there come hell or high water. I hope he does get fired.I've been telling him to find somewhere else to work where there wasn't sluts and he won't. it's an easy job. I'll be my happy ass up there every day. You know how I am. I do not believe in double standars and if its okay for the other staff then by golly i'm not staying away. I drove around 2 hours tonight thinking if i was or wasn't doing the bright thing. I decided i'm not doing a damn thing wrong. he can get another job if fired. so I'm hoping he does. Yeah we are flat out broke with only 300 in the bank and had to stop paying some things to keep the lights on but like i said he can get more or much money elsewhere he just hates changes! As for me needing him, yes I need him, I don't have a job! If you'd just go back to work, I would keep DD and use that money to pay bills... And then I wouldn't have to worry about all this! I'd just leave him, for good this time..."
I just ended the conversation with an "okay, mom."
I really didn't know what to say. I just thought on it for a bit, and wondered "is this normal? maybe it's me that's just sensitive."
And yes, stepdad did get removed from that job. I'm not sure of the real reason but have been told by several people (again small town community college) that Susan went in the office of the woman she kept calling a slut and basically lit into her, eventually pulled her out of her seat by her hair. I'm inclined to believe this is true. Of course charges are never put on her, so she gets her way, once again.
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