Susan Shows Me My Worth.

*Disclaimer- Susan has been cut off for almost 4 years now. 1000% no contact. She is still actively stalking and harassing, but she is greeted with silence. I have been denied a restraining order multiple times. I have a lawyer. This is just therapeautic at this point in time.

Susan is a narcissist to the 19th degree. She was somewhat good at hiding her evilness behind closed doors until I refused to let her behind closed doors anymore and began NC. Then, she began a campaign of trying to get me to get over myself. Except, Susan is a narcissist and doesn't understand how to apologize. So, Susan had to turn to Google (gogle?) to figure out how to get me back under her wing.

 

I knew this wasn't coming from Susan because it was too grammatically correct. I took to Google myself and found the original post, it was a letter from a dad to his daughter. She'd copied bits and pieces here and there to form her own "letter".

  

"1) You can't change people. Not men, not your friends, not your mother or your father. Accept the ones you want to accept, move on from the ones you don't (except your mother or your father, of course). You won't look back, I promise.

2)There will be times when you think you hate me, when you are angry with me and there will be times when I am angry with you. That's ok. Be angry, but be honest with yourself and know that even when I am angry with you, I still love you. The love I have for you can never be broken or taken away from you. It is a constant you can always count on.

3) Please know that I am not perfect, no one is and I will make mistakes, too. I promise to always do my best to recognize those mistakes and work on myself. You are my teacher and I am yours.

  

I love you and miss you no matter how you feel about me you are still my blood, my daughter."

  

I was instructed to send 1 reply (per my lawyer) that said I did not want contact in any shape or form, any further contact would be harassment. Then I blocked.

 

The next morning, brand new email account.

"I am begging you for forgiveness. I love you, I need you, I miss you. We can meet at a park. Please, OP, I miss you, my priss pod. You was always my everything. Don't come here, it's not safe around here anymore anyway. But I miss my friend, my daughter. I miss our talks. If you don't want to see me will you let me see DD for a few hours? take her to a park, to eat (not my house) but just me and her? Unless you wanna come. Or I will spend 10 minutes there swinging her and not bother you and you can get some things done around your house. Please Op I've never pleaded b4. You have always been my world. Now my world has stopped and I have no idea why. I need you! more than you know!"

  

The next day, a letter with no return address.

 

Word for word, from a "how to get your angries out healthily" webpage.

 

"I can't tell you enough or in the right words how sorry I am for the things that I've done.

  

I don't blame you for being mad at me, but please forgive me. I don't want that to happen again and it's not going to. I'm very ashamed and humiliated.

I am sorry for all the times I made you feel bad and I wish I could take them all back.

I am sorry for all the things I've done to you. I have been a very angry person. All this time I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn't. I was hurting you and did not see it. I pray that someday you will learn to forgive me, and love me once more. All I want is for our family to be happy, and I will do whatever needs to be done to assure that.

  

I love you, and I for us to get back the trust and love we once had. Please never forget that I love you more than anything, and you mean the world to me.

  

Love, Mom".

Honestly, that hurt worse than the insincere non apologies. To know that my mother doesn't give a shit about me enough to even come up with her own apologies, or her own words, and has to COPY AND PASTE from INTERNET sites to try and get me to do what she wants me to do HURT. I wasn't even worth reading a book, I was a googled apology site and a viral book of faces post.